A girl and her thoughts

When you lay in bed, what do you think about? Do you go through what you did during the day? Do you go through your to-do list for the following day? Is it just laying there thinking about something from your past? Or are you thinking about ways that things could happen in the future? I'm asking these questions because when I cannot sleep I think about all of it.

I'm an overthinker. I'll start by thinking about what happened during the day that day. Then I'll start thinking about what I have to do the next day. Those thoughts tend to take up more time than any other. I will start worrying about all of the stuff that I haven't done that needs to be done. Especially if something is way past due. And I'm saying that because I have things that should have been done weeks ago that I still can't seem to make myself do.

So I suffer from ADHD. Some days it's not suffering so much I just learning to deal with what you got going on. And some days it is suffering. My executive dysfunction is very real and will keep you from doing things because I just can't make myself do them. There are boxes upon boxes in my house of things that I know I need to do, but what I look at them my brain just shuts down and I can't make myself to them.

So what do you do to help yourself in this situation? Do you make yourself to do less or do you find an app that works. I have tried everything. I've tried to break down my jobs into smaller jobs. I've tried to do fun things in between one job or another to keep myself engaged. I've been called lazy, a horrible housekeeper, and not good about following through with things I need to do. I will go weeks where I can do everything and I get everything done like I'm supposed to and then they'll be weeks where I can't get anything done. I'll tell myself I'm going to do this at this time. When the time rolls around I don't do it.

So this leads me to lay in bed at night thinking about the things that I should be doing that I can't seem to get done. That leads to insomnia. Which is what I'm currently dealing with on a regular basis. They're nice when I take my cold medicine for my sleeping pills depending on what day it is and I still can't sleep. I was sick for 2 weeks and taking meds that were supposed to help me sleep and yet I would stay awake. These are the same meds that months ago would put me to sleep. Insomnia is the one friend that I've had the longest that I wish I could break up with.